So obviously I like to write to express my feelings; its really the best way I know how. Throughout my life, I have kept a lot of journals, and every once and a while I like to look back through them and read what I wrote. It reminds me of where I was in that moment and how I felt. Its amazing to see what I was praying for and how God answered those prayers. Sometimes I am amazed at the insight that I had in a moment that I had completely forgotten about and just reading it can help me in my life right now. So I was reading my journal from one of my last days in Costa Rica and it had some pretty interesting thoughts on a relationship with Christ that I thought was interesting. As I was reading tonight, I was somewhat envious of that girl who was writing the entry. Maybe I'll find her again. . Its amazing how your comfort zone can conform you into a person you don't always want to be. I'll just quote it instead of paraphrasing so I can get the point of it right.

August 3, 2010

"So many emotions right now. So sad, excited, optimistic. I feel like I've changed so much. I don't really know what to expect when I go home. I really dont. I'm in love with two places, but i guess you have to be with the one you love more. Which is obviously where my family is. Man, I love my family. I'm not that girl I was 11 weeks ago. I'm more confident. I'm okay with who I am. You realize worrying about things like that are stupid. Just live your life. Do the things you want and don't do the things you don't want to do. I don't have to please others. Love them; yes. Serve them; yes. But I don't have to say, do, or think what they want me to.

Christians are not meant to do it alone. For real. I took that[having other believers around me] for granted and I paid the price. I didn't maintain my relationship with Christ at the same level like I always have; However, I admire and respect Him more than I ever have. No, our relationship isn't perfect. But distance makes the heart grow fonder. I know that He is the one I want. That doesn't change the temptations and mistakes I make. I'm so far from perfect. But it's real, what we got. Because people make mistakes. Sometimes you don't talk. Sometimes you put other things first. That's real. Before it was real, but I always had a church and others to encourage me. I had crutches. Well without the crutches, I'm crawling again. But I'm getting stronger. I'm learning how to walk, like really walk. Not in some fairy tale kind of way. I've learned that in this life the valleys are deeper than you can ever imagine. Yes, there are two mountains for every valley, but the mountains arent as high as the valleys are low. But that's the truth , you know. Life is never the way you think its going to be. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, and sometime its just different. But you take it, you take it and go on. And you enjoy every minute of it. Dont worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough to worry about. Take advantage of every opportunity. Never let fear, what if's, or any other temporary thing that isn't certain stop you"

And then it ended. That was the last thing I wrote when I was there. I'm not sure why I wanted to put that in the blog, but I did. I also found a quote in one of the other entries that I will leave you with. It said, " Religion is about what YOU do, when it's really about who HE is. Different subjects, different verbs entirely." Pura Vida.