Last one

So I suppose as of 11:45 yesterday (That was the approximate time I received my diploma in the excruciatingly long 3 and 1/2 hour ceremony that was called my graduation) I became a Clemson University gradute and can no longer refer to myself as an American College Student. I suppose maybe this is the last blog considering as of today I am living the life of a College Grad. It's kind of weird because after my super awesome party consisting of vball, an epic slip and slide, an appearance by wonder woman, and a freakin sweet Harry Potter cake (so you may judge me for having this as my graduation cake, but whatever haters haha), I was reading all of my awesome cards that people brought me [btw thank you so much to everyone who came. It is so encouraging to be reminded of all the amazing people in your life who love and support you, even if you have a harry potter cake. I am truly, unbelievably blessed] and I kind of realized that I am closing a chapter in my life. To me, high school is such a distant memory. High school is like the preface to a book, not really a chapter. You know the preface to a book, the part that doesn't really serve any purpose for the development of the story and most people just skip over all together or at least in my life it was that way. Life hit me in the face like a transfer truck when I went to college. I can't say I'm terribly sad about this chapter being over because college, as any of you who have read my blog at all can tell, has been a pretty difficult time in my life. I think I'm ready to move forward with my life. While most people shout from the rooftops that college is the best years of their lives, I daily hoped it would be over. And now the thing I have hoped for has come to fruition. I never understood why I have so disliked this thing most people love, but I've kind of always known that I've been a little different than most people. Despite the hardships, and probably because of those hardships, I learned A LOT. I mean more than any professor taught me in my four years of college, God taught me so much more about Him, other people, life, and myself. Maybe that's the only purpose it served, who knows. Maybe I will learn in the future, either way, I am thankful that God gave me the grace to finish. I give him all praise for getting me through these past four years because there were so many days I wanted to quit, and quite honestly It's a miracle that I passed any of my classes considering the lack of motivation I've had for the past 4 years. But I did. And I guess that's the point of that whole graduation thing right and that diploma that is laying somewhere in my room right now (yeah my room looks like hiroshima right now). So my friends, I will leave you all with a few things I have learned from the past four years:
1. Life doesn't go the way you want a majority of the time. But sometimes it goes in a completely different way that was better than what you wanted in the first place.
2. God isn't logical, so what looks good on paper isn't always what you should do.
3. You can do more than you think you can.
4. You have to take care of yourself before you can care for other people.
5. Awkward situations provide for great stories later.
6. Laughter is the best thing God created. Humor is how I have survived. I love surrounding myself with funny people.
7. Don't rush things. You have to go through things so you can handle whatever life brings your way next.
8. Disappointment is one of the worst things imaginable, but it won't kill you .
9. Tears cleanse the soul. They aren't a sign of weakness. (I just recently learned this)
10. Even when you feel like a failure, more than likely you are someone else's inspiration.

okay there are so many more things that I could write, but i'm just gonna stop here. Maybe I'll write more another day. I can't believe it's finally over, I feel like I've finished a marathon (which after running three miles this morning is something I will never do in my life, and I'm okay with that). It's been a long road, but being at the end and looking back, I'm glad I took that road. I'm so much stronger and I'm honestly proud of the person I've become. No doubt I am a work in progress, but hey, it's progress. Who knows what is to come, because I sure don't, but I'm just going to take it one day at a time. And that my friends is the end to my life as an American College Student. Pura Vida.

Sour Patch Kids...friend or foe?

So here we go guys, I just got my survival kit for exam week. I walked my little fanny (wow I haven't heard that word used in an extraordinarily long time) Anywho, like I said I walked myself to Walgreens to pick up the essentials: 2 five hour energies. Check. Big pack of Sour Patch Kids. Check. Arnold Palmer iced tea & lemonade mix. Check. and York Peppermint Patty for when I have to appease my raging chocolate craving. check. Yup, that should get me through the next couple of days, right? wrong people. Arnold palmer and half of the sour patch kids are already gone. Dang it! Procrastinating from studying for these exams is getting me all worked up, and I eat when I'm anxious. Hey people, as Chris farley would say, "LAY OFF I'M STARVING!" Okay, so I'm not really starving, but my blood sugar threatened me to feed it sugar, what was I supposed to do? Man, I'm pretty sure that "white" substance on the sour patch kids is some kind of drug. So as the title implies, are Sour Patch Kids really our friends? I mean look at the commercials. In one, this freakishly large sour patch kid cuts off this girls ponytail. Hmm, the ones I haven't eaten yet are looking at me with their rainbow colored eyes like they know I'm in on their little game. If you guys don't hear from me in a couple of days, you heard what happened here first. Okay so lets get off of my delirium shall we. 2 exams people. 2. that's one wednesday and one thursday. And then I'm done. So weird. Some of you who may not be in college any more may be thinking, "Man, she's about to get a rude awakening into the real world. She should be thankful she's in college" Yeah I get it, I'm gonna have to get a job. Im not going to be able to take naps everyday, or have sour patch kid hangovers anymore. Yeah I get it. But let me tell you guys something. I'm gonna be getting paid. See right now, I pay these people (a lot of money I might add) to send me into a mental breakdown. I mean, yes I will be faced with lots of stresses in the future, I am not naive about this, but I will be getting some sort of benefit, I hope. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful I had the opportunity to get an education and to have finally (almost) finished the race, but I think if I stay any longer I will have to be checked into a psychiatric hospital. Kudos to anyone going to grad school right after undergrad. You guys are clearly superhuman and have been bit by some radioactive spider. Way to go. Well I suppose I should start now. I'm trying to get all of my distractions out of the way before I start so I can just dive right in. I will probably be blogging more this week in my effort to relieve my brain from all of the cramming. I love you all! Pura Vida.

As I sit here preparing to give my last presentation in college Ever (Did I mention that its the LAST FREAKING ONE? oh I did? well yeah you get the point) I truly can't believe that I'm finally coming down the home stretch of this evil monster named college. Don't get me wrong I have another paper due, an eportfolio, and finals (blah blah blah...I'm boring myself just listing them) but this is my last day of class and I think that is a significant obstacle to overcome on my way to becoming a college graduate. As it is coming to an end, I just want to give a quick shout-out to all of the wonderful friendships I have developed over this past year. My neighbors Anshul, Banish, Chirag, and Dhruva have truly become the best Clemson friends I have (As in people I know that actually go to Clemson University). The kindness and joy that they have brought into my life this past semester is truly something I will never forget. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet them, and not only to meet them, but that they allowed my roommates and I to be their friends. For those of you that I haven't told (which isn't many of you haha) These 4 wonderful people invited me to their apartment at exactly 12:00 a.m. on April 24th (which was my 22nd birthday) where they proceeded to sing me happy birthday by the candlelight of an amazing chocolate cake they had bought me. Beside the cake stood my new friend Joey (which is a stuffed rabbit- I thought it was appropriate since it was also Easter that day as well). It was one of my favorite memories from my birthday, and the thoughtfulness of this action was truly heartwarming. I just have to say that these are four amazing guys :) Can you tell I love to sing their praises. It is nice to be reminded that there are people in this world that deserve that kind of praise. I must also give a shout out to my roommates and Mr. Colby Thelen. Together with ABCD, we make up some of the coolest people you will ever meet. I mean who else hokey pokeys and does the wobble on a regular basis. I wish our time together could continue, but as we go our separate ways, I would like to wish all of these wonderful people the best of luck in whatever opportunities they find. I truly hope and believe that we will all be reunited again, but if not (as in I move to India and become a Bollywood dancer as I have discussed with ABCD), I hope that we will all cherish the memories we have made. Thank you guys for being such amazing friends and the joy and friendship you have all brought into my life :) Pura Vida.

2+2=4?

While taking a break from the million things I have to do before I become an alum, I thought it was appropriate to write a blog. For some reason, blogging is always very relaxing for me. It's actually a way for me to turn my brain off and just let whatever comes to my mind free. My poor brain is on its last leg. Seriously. When I was in 9th grade, I ran track and field and I used to do the 4 x 4 relay race (Yeah don't ask me why my long legged white girl self got thrown up in that race). I have to say that the 400 in track is one of the hardest races because you are at a dead out sprint the entire time. By the last 100 meters, you have lost all control of your body and you are just hoping somehow that your legs will take you past the finish line so you don't bust it and embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Although most people would say, "You are almost there, its only 100 meters" I can honestly say that those were the hardest 100 meters of my life. I used to seriously want to die every time I came around the last bend. Well, folks, that is exactly how I feel right now. I have worked so hard for 17 years and these last two weeks will be the end of me. yes, i know I am almost done, but i think these next two weeks are going to kill me. Either that, or the cause of the large brown spot that has made its way onto our apartment ceiling. Remember the waterfall that happened a few months ago, yeah, I think its about to be freakin Niagra falls up in Apt. 201. Well anyway, back to the point, my brain hurts. I dont think I can remember any more formulas, espanol, theories, logarithms ( I still don't even know what those are). I think my head is just going to pop off. That would be a funny site. Not for me. For you guys though. There is no vacancy left for useless information that I won't ever use again. One thing I am certain, college has made me dumb. Yes, you heard me right. College has actually lessened my intelligence. I can write 15 page analysis papers, but you know, I think spelling and addition are more beneficial for my life, and sadly those two skills have completely gone out the window. I am not even kidding when i say that I use a calculator to make sure that 2+2=4. I really do that. I can't add even the simplest things anymore. Thanks alot college, guess I won't ever be able to be a cashier and give back right change anymore (that was my dream growing up, i used to love, and still do, those self check out lanes at grocery stores). Oh well, I guess that's the price you pay to learn about statistical research methods (I almost just threw up in my mouth thinking about how awful that subject is). Welp, I suppose that is enough for now. It was nice to give my brain a break, even if for just a little while. There will probably be more posts soon, just to avoid the whole head popping off thing. I don't think my cap for graduation will fit very well if there isn't a head to put it on. Well hope you all have a fabulous day or night (whenever you find suiting to read this) Pura Vida!

Soon to be American College Graduate

So yes, in just a few weeks I will have to change the name of my blog to "life of the 'what the heck am I doing with my life?' college graduate" no longer, no ever again, will I be a student. Weird. School is the only thing I really know how to do, seeing as its the only thing I've ever done. and the answer to your question, No, I don't know what I'm doing and don't have any plans. SHOCKER I know. I'm sure there has to be some sort of law against not having your entire life planned out, especially since that is the only question people ask me anymore, but to be quite frank, I don't really care. With the volume of inquiring minds increasing as the days pass by, sorry to burst your bubble, but i just genuinely don't know what I want to do. So let's get off that note. I do have a few more weeks of being a college student and enjoying the simple things like getting a free twix today, eating at three spoons, taking a run just to enjoy the sunshine (let me tell you this 5k is whipping me into shape) and working on my Eportfolio that I thought was due next friday but was really due two days ago- oh wait that last one wasn't something I enjoy. I have so much to do in the next few weeks, more than I think I have time to actually complete, and the responsible adult in me who I have kept caged up MY ENTIRE LIFE tells me that I need to do my work or else I may be writing this blog under the same title for a little while longer. However, the reality is I only have a few weeks left of being a college student, where I get to live with my best friends and new friends named ABCD, stay up late just to watch 30 rock, and go to softball games just to "hang out." Only a few more weeks and then BAM, that person I have been chaining up has to come out. Bummer. she will probably be mean and boring. The fact of the matter is, life is more than grades and homework assignments. Its about people, and memories. So screw you Stat test and Eportfolio. you are just gonna have to wait. Because there is fun to be had. Did I mention my birthday is coming up...not that birthdays after 21 matter much anyway, but still, its not like I want to be doing schoolwork. Well I suppose that is all for now. Just a side note: whoever said "all is fair in love and war" clearly had not experienced either and is just plain dumb. Random I know but it is just an opinion. Pura Vida Everyone.

This is the result of zero motivation.

Wow. I literally have not had this LITTLE motivation to write a paper or do homework in a long time. I think I've gone into full scale zombie mode as I cannot bring myself to write a single word of it. As most of you know, I tend to blog or stay glued to facebook, finding anyone and everyone to look at pictures of- if you just got married or had a baby, beware I'm on the lookout- when I am avoiding doing homework. Lets list all of the things I have done to avoid doing this paper (btw, this paper is on the analysis of two movies, both of which are in Spanish with subtitles, with one of them being about a Hermaphrodite-so yeah, do you see why I'm having trouble here). Lets see...yes, I tackled the thing that looks like a dead animal that got ran over by a trucker, who wasn't sure that he actually killed it so he put it in reverse and ran over it again, that is going to be used as my wig for cher in our upcoming show. I'm not sure how wigs can get so completely jacked up, but they really do. This one is by far out of control. Thanks alot Cher for your stupid, long, straight and shiny black hair that i can in no way recreate. Whatever, you sound like a man, and you are way to old to be wearing spandex nowadays, just letting you know. So yeah trying to somehow kill the pet cemetary wig (and by that I mean, it looks like the dead animal came back to life) took a while. After that fiasco I made lunch...which ended up being a conglomeration of things from bread dipped in some chick-fil-a sauce that has been in our apt for a while (yes, i eat bread by itself, i'm a carbaholic) to some Italian ice (just cuz I like it) to some cereal. Yeah, breakfast of champions, I assure you. I then proceeded to watch about 4 episodes of 30 Rock, mainly cuz Tina Fey is amazing. Then I took a nap. Got up, returned to duh duh duh "the wig" and lets see, hmm I watched another episode of 30 rock. After that, I watched several youtube videos of Grace Potter. She is unbelievably amazing. If I could be anyone, I've decided, I would be her. But since that will never happen, I will just have to watch youtube videos of her until I can see her in concert again. I think thats about it, oh yeah, then I had a 10 minute dance party to grace potter, and now I'm writing a blog. You may not agree, but I would say that is one heck of a productive day. Other than the fact that I still have a SEVEN PAGE PAPER TO WRITE! Priorities people, you have to do the most important things first. And making sure all of my facebook friends have the same relationship status they did five minutes ago is a priority. haha just kidding. sort of. Anywho, I think that is all. I feel the need to wobble and then maybe try to get started on...oh I can't even bring myself to say it. Well, I guess this is a rant from the crazy mind of an American College student. That is all. Pura vida everyone!

So obviously I like to write to express my feelings; its really the best way I know how. Throughout my life, I have kept a lot of journals, and every once and a while I like to look back through them and read what I wrote. It reminds me of where I was in that moment and how I felt. Its amazing to see what I was praying for and how God answered those prayers. Sometimes I am amazed at the insight that I had in a moment that I had completely forgotten about and just reading it can help me in my life right now. So I was reading my journal from one of my last days in Costa Rica and it had some pretty interesting thoughts on a relationship with Christ that I thought was interesting. As I was reading tonight, I was somewhat envious of that girl who was writing the entry. Maybe I'll find her again. . Its amazing how your comfort zone can conform you into a person you don't always want to be. I'll just quote it instead of paraphrasing so I can get the point of it right.

August 3, 2010

"So many emotions right now. So sad, excited, optimistic. I feel like I've changed so much. I don't really know what to expect when I go home. I really dont. I'm in love with two places, but i guess you have to be with the one you love more. Which is obviously where my family is. Man, I love my family. I'm not that girl I was 11 weeks ago. I'm more confident. I'm okay with who I am. You realize worrying about things like that are stupid. Just live your life. Do the things you want and don't do the things you don't want to do. I don't have to please others. Love them; yes. Serve them; yes. But I don't have to say, do, or think what they want me to.

Christians are not meant to do it alone. For real. I took that[having other believers around me] for granted and I paid the price. I didn't maintain my relationship with Christ at the same level like I always have; However, I admire and respect Him more than I ever have. No, our relationship isn't perfect. But distance makes the heart grow fonder. I know that He is the one I want. That doesn't change the temptations and mistakes I make. I'm so far from perfect. But it's real, what we got. Because people make mistakes. Sometimes you don't talk. Sometimes you put other things first. That's real. Before it was real, but I always had a church and others to encourage me. I had crutches. Well without the crutches, I'm crawling again. But I'm getting stronger. I'm learning how to walk, like really walk. Not in some fairy tale kind of way. I've learned that in this life the valleys are deeper than you can ever imagine. Yes, there are two mountains for every valley, but the mountains arent as high as the valleys are low. But that's the truth , you know. Life is never the way you think its going to be. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, and sometime its just different. But you take it, you take it and go on. And you enjoy every minute of it. Dont worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough to worry about. Take advantage of every opportunity. Never let fear, what if's, or any other temporary thing that isn't certain stop you"

And then it ended. That was the last thing I wrote when I was there. I'm not sure why I wanted to put that in the blog, but I did. I also found a quote in one of the other entries that I will leave you with. It said, " Religion is about what YOU do, when it's really about who HE is. Different subjects, different verbs entirely." Pura Vida.